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There exists a number of signs of a Competitive Sister in Law. 

I have written this blog keeping in mind your need to maintain your boundaries with your sister-in-law while also not falling into the default hatred mind space for her. Come, let’s see how to deal with a sister in law who is competitive!

competitive sister in law

25 Evident Signs of a Competitive Sister In Law 

Together, let’s also understand and learn ways to deal with a competitive sister in law.

1. Your SIL Buys The Exact Dress That You have 

Let’s say your sister-in-law sets her eyes on one of your clothings that looks all gorgeous. So she immediately orders it.

Outwardly though her act might appear competitive, you need to understand for the fact that she liked the outfit and so she purchased it. So please don’t let this impact your mindspace in any way.

2. Your Sister-in-Law Starts Searching For a Job Once You Join One

Let’s say you land with a job out of your own interests.

Surprisingly, this triggers your non-working sister in law and she actively starts looking for a job to build her career.

This for sure is an evident sign of her competitiveness. But you know what, you have actually inspired someone to make a major move in their life. So feel happy about it!

3. Your SIL Plans For a Baby Once You Announce Your Pregnancy

When your married sister-in-law gives out the news of her conception immediately after you give yours, it is possibly a sign of her competitive mindset.

Again, this is completely okay, feel happy for her and get going. It is time for festivities and changing nappies!

4. Your SIL Expects Your In-Laws To Do The Exact Things That Your Parents Do For You

Let’s say your parents gift you a beautiful saree for your first Diwali immediately after your wedding.

And your SIL confronts your in-laws, “Appa, look what her parents have got for her. I want you to get me a saree as well”

Do you not think she is being competitive here? Anyway, this speaks a lot about your sister-in-law’s immaturity. Don’t let it affect your sanity.

5. Your Sister-in-Law Expects Your In-Laws To Do Things They Do For You

It is for parents to decide what they wish to do for their daughters OR DILS, isn’t it?

Considering this, let’s say your in-laws get you a gold ring for your birthday. And your SIL feels all enraged and questions your in-laws for her share. Ridiculous, isn’t it?

Anyway, if your in-laws can handle your SIL well, great. 

OR if you feel like, you could also suggest them to do whatever they had like to do, for both you and your SIL equally. That way, we can let go of unsolicited familial fissures.

6. Your SIL Says, “She Was Allowed To Wear It In Her Wedding. Why Not Me?”

Say you wore BLUE-coloured madisar (9 Yards Saree) for your wedding. And your sister-in-law wants one for her wedding too.

Sadly, her future in-laws are not in favor of it owing to traditional constraints. But your SIL takes you for example and gets all the more adamant. For sure, this is a sign of her competitiveness; also her immaturity.

Again, something like this should never bother you, so ignore and keep going!

7. Your SIL Tries To Forcefully Establish Her Presence When You Are Gaining The Center-Stage!

Let’s say you are a good dancer.

So when you are dancing during one of those family occasions, if your sister-in-law forcefully joins you and tries to outperform you, she is definitely being competitive.

For that matter, such things should never unsettle you. In fact, if you feel like, help her out with a few dance moves!

8. Your SIL Does The Same Haircut As You 

Say you give yourself a layer-cut and you feel good. And your SIL is so inspired that she treats herself to the same haircut! 

Though this is a,”She did. So I did” behaviour from her side, it should be best ignored.

9. Your Sister-in-Law Joins Music Class, Because Of You

Let’s say you are interested in music and so you sign up for classes. Your SIL follows suit, evidently being competitive.

Anyway, as I mentioned previously, you should feel good for inspiring your SIL. What’s wrong, music is meant for everyone!

10. Your SIL Plans For a Vacation, After You Do

Say, you plan for a vacation with your partner. And this gets your sister-in-law plan for one with her hubby too!

Pure competitive behaviour from her end, yes, but you have actually driven another couple to plan for a vacation for themselves, isn’t that AWESOME?

11. Your SIL Tells Your Husband, “Look At Your Wife’s Brother, How He Is Getting So Many Gifts For Her, Be Like Him!”

Say your brother surprises you with loads of gifts for Raksha bandhan.

Seeing this, your sister-in-law confronts your husband ( aka her brother) and asks for her share of gifts from him.

No doubt, this is jealousy induced competitiveness. Nevertheless, you should ignore her childish behaviour and get going!

12. Your SIL Decides to Up Her Skill That You Are Already Good At

Say, you cook really well and your in-laws are so proud of you.

This gets your sister-in-law envious and so instantly she starts learning the skill.

Though this is a sign of her competitive behaviour, you should feel good for being the reason for your SIL to do something fruitful!

13. Your SIL Plans Outing with Friends Just After you Do

Say you plan for a night out with your friends and your family members are okay with it.

Surprisingly, when your sister-in-law comes up with similar plans then she is being competitive.

Okay now, why shouldn’t she plan for a night out with her friends?

Let her enjoy her life, and you, yours!

14. Your SIL Acts Strange When She Senses that People are Fond of You

Say your husband’s relatives are fond of you, for you are respectful and gentle to them. 

In such a case, if your sister-in-law is competitive, she would definitely not like this love flowing to you from all ends. Hence, she will make all efforts to gain people’s attention towards her.

Though this is a sign of her immaturity , love & respect isn’t something you could buy in shops. It has to originate from one’s insides. If your SIL is able to achieve it, you should feel happy for her as well 🙂

15. Your SIL Makes Her Partner Do Things For Her, Whenever Your Partner Does Something for You

Say your Husband gets you a Gold Pendant.

Triggered by this act, if your sister in law immediately makes her hubby get one for herself, then she is for sure being competitive!

It’s okay, it just indicates her immaturity. Learn from her and don’t become a trouble-maker for your husband 🙂

16. Your SIL Wants To Grow Equally In Status As You

Say you buy a New House.

If this makes your sister-in-law buy a house sooner, it means she is being competitive.

Not a problem as long as she doesn’t give you any trouble. Also, Wish her luck. After all, she deserves it too because she must have worked hard to achieve it 🙂

17. Your SIL Plans A Road Trip Just After You Do

Say you go on a Road Trip with your Partner.

If this turns on your sister in law and she by any means, persuades her partner as well to go on a road trip with her, then she is definitely being competitive.

Wait! Road trips are not just meant for you and your partner! So why does it matter? Don’t let such things strain your mental health.

18. Your SIL Often Takes Your Partner for Inspiration

Say your Partner is a good cook and helps you with all household chores.

If your sister-in-law takes this as an example and forces her partner to help her with things, it indicates her competitiveness.

But on a positive side, feel good because you and your husband have set a good example for your SIL. Also, it is awesome if her hubby starts lending her a helping hand too!

19. Your SIL Tries To Prepare Your Best Dish To Earn Praise

Say you are good at Making Yam Fry and your family is so fond of it.

If your sister in law prepares the same dish with sincerity and brings out the exact flavour to prove that she is no less, then she is being competitive.

No, don’t feel defeated here. Instead if your SIL’s dish comes out really well, eat well and compliment her.

20. Your SIL Tries to Copy What You Do For Your Parents

Say you support your parents financially.

Knowing this, if your sister in law also tries to do it for her parents, she is definitely being competitive.

But in this case, you should feel proud of yourself for inspiring your SIL. After all, shouldn’t every parent experience their daughter’s care and support?

21. Your SIL Copies Whatever You Do For Your Partner

Say you do something Special for your Partner’s Birthday.

And your Sister in Law tries to do the same for her partner on his birthday!

Anyway, there are other important things for you to look out for out there. It is her life and she is doing things for her hubby. Accept it gracefully and move on!

22. Your SIL Tries To Copy Whatever You Do For Your In-Laws

Say you are being really supportive of your In-Laws.

If this causes your SIL to behave the same way with her in-laws, it is a consequence of her competitive mindset.

Good thing is that, she has learnt a value from you. So cheers 🙂

23. Your SIL Tries To Match Your Standards Professionally

Say you get a Promotion at Office.

If this stokes up your sister-in-law and makes her achieve a promotion or salary hike at her work as well, then she is being competitive.

But beyond her competitive mindset, it is her hard-work that must have earned her such a reputation. So be happy for your SIL!

24. Your Sister-in-Law Insists Her Husband to Relocate Just Because You Have

Say you relocate to a different city owing to work reasons.

If this gets your sister in law upset and makes her relocate to a different place as well,  then she is being competitive.

Well, it is her life and her choices. Why does it even matter?

25. Your SIL Renovates her House Because You Have

Say you get your House Revamped.

If this gets your sister in law do similar things to her house, then she is being competitive.

Again, it is her money and her choices. Why does it matter?

Your Sister-in-Law is Just Another Human Being Who Makes Mistakes; Acknowledge It and Build a Good Relationship With Her!

Competition doesn’t build relationships. This is why you need to pursue positive ways to bridge the gaps in respect to your relationship with your sister-in-law. On that note, I hope you found my ways to deal with a competitive sister in law really useful.


If this blog inspired you to share a genuine relationship with your sister-in-law, let me know in the comments below!