As a woman and daughter in law myself, I have countless reasons to contradict the case in point and explain why women should not focus on pleasing their parents-in-laws. Come, let me tell you what they are!
Should women impress their in laws – 23 Eye-Opening Reasons That Will Give You Clarity!
I have come up with umpteen reasons why focusing on impressing your in-laws will do you no good – Here you go!
1. Do You Not Lose Yourself In The Process Of Meeting Your In-Laws Taste-Buds?
Say you are a DIL who wants to find a place in your in-laws heart and you try to cook dishes that will overawe the latter.
You work so hard to cook their favourites deliberately with the fear of rejection.
And to your astonishment, your in-laws do not acknowledge your work only to make you disappointed.
Wouldn’t that annoy you?
Even in the case of them reciprocating your gesture with a whole-heart, in the first place, why should you even seek their approval?
As an individual, shouldn’t you be happy and confident about the way you cook already? Why do you have to lose yourself in the process of impressing others?
I do not mean to say that you should not accept criticisms but my point is, why should you give the space for others to even judge you?
Do you think this will work in your favour in the long term?
2. By Following The Ideal Practices Of Your In-Laws, Are You Going To Compromise On Yours?
What if you cook Rasam (A South-Indian Delicacy) differently from your mother-in-law which the latter does not receive well?
But Isn’t that your style of cooking?
To impress your in-laws, say you try to cook it the way your MIL does. In that case, would you not give up on your way of doing things?
Do you want to quit your style just because you want to overwhelm someone for no reason at all?
What would you even gain by doing so?
That said, should women impress their in laws by staking their individuality?
3. Would You Give Up On Your Career If Your In-Laws Are Not Interested In It?
Consider that you are a career-oriented person and would like to pursue your job even after your maternity leave.
In that case, how would you respond if your in-laws show their dissent towards your decision?
Would you give up on your aspirations just to keep your in-laws satisfied?
By doing so, would you not deceive yourself?
In what way is your action even justifiable?
4. Would You Leave Your Parents If Your In-Laws Do Not Approve Of It?
As a daughter, aren’t you responsible for your parents in every way?
Say, you are a single child and would like to move your parents with you while your in-laws are against the idea.
In that case, what decision would you make?
Would you by any chance, give up on your parents just to make peace with your in-laws’ views?
But isn’t it the responsibility of a daughter to take care of her parents?
That said, should women impress their in laws by failing their parents?
5. Would You Not Visit Your Parents Just Because Your In-Laws Do Not Like It?
Daughters visiting their parents is still viewed as a taboo in India. Why is that so?
Say you feel home-sick and wish to visit your parents. To your disappointment, say your in-laws stop you from going.
Would you still give in to their demands to satisfy them?
Would you suppress your emotions and feelings for no substantial reason?
In that case, wouldn’t you turn untrue to yourself?
6. Would You Stop Supporting Your Parents Financially If Your In-Laws Are Against It?
What if your in-laws do not like you sharing your salary with your parents?
Would you stop doing it to stay in your in-laws’ good books?
As a responsible daughter, shouldn’t you actually be supporting your parents in every way possible?
That said, should women impress their in laws by failing as a daughter?
7. Would You Choose To Lose Your Personal Space Just To Fit In With Your In-Laws Expectations?
Say you are spending your time doing some research work.
In that case, how would you feel if you are being interrupted by your mother in law?
What if she instructs you to do some domestic work while you are actually busy with your work?
Would you leave your work to take over the responsibility assigned by your MIL fearing her disappointment?
Would that not affect your personal space, work, and time?
Also Read:: 11 Lesser-Known Compromises Made By Indian Daughters-In-Law
8. Would You Not Invite Friends Home Because Your In-Laws Do Not Encourage It?
Say you are planning to invite your colleagues for dinner on your anniversary.
In that case, would you quit your plan if your in-laws do not like it?
In the name of impressing your in-laws, should you compromise on your small desires?
That said, would that not affect your mental health?
9. Would You Refrain From Sharing Your Views In Discussions Fearing Your In-Laws Objection?
Is it not the right of a daughter in law to share her views on family decisions and affairs? But most of them don’t because of fear of objection.
That said, tell me, would you as a DIL, restrain yourself from making your suggestions while making decisions because your in-laws would not receive it happily?
But don’t you think a DIL should open up when there is a necessity?
Just because your in-laws do not encourage it, would you keep things locked up inside all the time?
10. Would You Force Yourself Into Conception Because Your In-Laws Desire For It?
Say your in-laws keep pressuring you to give them the good news after your wedding.
Just by the way of keeping them satisfied, would you give up on your stance and get prepared for a child?
Do you think such things would work in your favour?
That said, should women impress their in laws by compromising their stand?
11. Would You Give Up On The Way You Dress Up Just Because Your In-Laws Dislike It?
Say your traditional in-laws expect you to wear a saree all the time, while you prefer to sport casual dresses.
In that case, would you leave your preferences to fare in your in-laws’ good books?
Do you think such a decision of yours would keep you sane in the long term?
12. Would You Stop Yourself From Speaking Up When Your In-Laws Turn Unmindful Towards You?
How would you handle your in-laws when they keep passing jibes at you?
Despite being frustrated, would you still remain quiet to their unmindful talks?
Carrying your positive traits is no wrong but when there is a necessity, shouldn’t you shed your inhibitions and speak up?
By not standing up for yourself, if you think you are impressing your in-laws, then I am sorry to say that you are mistaken.
You only end up giving your in-laws limitless freedom for them to offend you without any second thoughts!
Also Read : How To Be An Assertive Daughter-In-Law?
13. Would You Quit Your Plans To Visit Your Friend If Your In-Laws Oppose Your Idea?
Say you plan to visit your best friend for lunch.
To your dismay, what if your in-laws oppose your plan?
Would you drop your agenda just to please your in-laws?
In that way, would you not end up cheating yourself?
Now tell me, is it important for women to impress their in-laws by compromising on their desires?
14. Would You Bring Up Your Child On The Lines Of Patriarchy Because Your In-Laws Encourage It?
Consider your in-laws are ardent-practitioners of patriarchy and do not like your son doing kitchen work.
But say you are someone who is against such a concept. Would you still stop your son from doing domestic work to satisfy your in-laws?
Would you give up on your principles so easily?
15. Would You Stop Your Spouse From Helping You Out Because Your In-Laws Are Against It?
How would you feel if your mother in law opposes your spouse helping you with cooking and cleaning?
Would you restrain him from doing such work just because your MIL is against the idea?
Do you think impressing her is more important than coming out of the clenches of patriarchy?
16. Would You Not Go For A Vacation With Your Spouse If Your In-Laws Do Not Like It?
What if your in-laws consider that spending money on vacations is a bad idea?
How would you feel if they go against your holiday plans with your spouse to Kodaikanal?
Do you think you should drop the plans to reduce your in-laws’s dismay towards you?
Would that not spoil your private relationship with your spouse?
Is it more important to impress your in-laws by staking your private space with your partner?
17. Would You Stop Spending For Yourself Because Your In-Laws Do Not Approve Of It?
Say you are someone who spends a lot in cosmetics which evidently is disliked by your in-laws.
In that case, would you stop treating yourself with your favorite cosmetics once in a while just because your in-laws do not support it?
Don’t you think by stopping yourself from doing things you like, you would be harming yourself unknowingly?
That said, should women impress their in laws by quitting on their favorites?
Also Read :: How Should Daughters-In-Law Stop Seeking Approval?
18. Would You Tolerate It If Your In-Laws Keep Hindering Your Private Space With Your Spouse?
Is it even right of the in-laws to interfere in the personal affairs of you and your spouse?
In that case, just to keep yourself in your in-laws’ good books, would you keep encouraging them by offering them enough space in your personal life?
Does that not mean you would be committing a grave injustice to your relationship with your spouse?
19. Would You Force Yourself To Call Your In-Laws And Relatives Just To Please Them?
Say your in-laws expect you to call them or their relatives every now and then.
Despite your reservations against their thoughts, would you still follow their advice unwillingly to keep them happy?
Now tell me, should women impress their in laws by going against their wishes?
20. Would You Stop Buying Something Because Your In-Laws Don’t Approve Of It?
Say you are a working person, and with aged in-laws at home, you prefer to buy groceries online.
But how would you deal with it if your in-laws don’t approve of your practice?
I would like to cite an example here. I came across a DIL who went against her in-laws to get Cow’s Milk for her son everyday. Though her in-laws wanted her to buy packaged milk, she kept on to her decision and still keeps doing it. Do you think her stubborn decision is harmful to anyone in any manner?
Do you think by compromising on small things like these, you could take a place in your in-laws’ heart? If yes, what is the point?
21. Would You Stop Yourself From Saying No When Your In-Laws Force You To Attend A Relative’s Marriage?
Say you have an important meeting on a given day at work when your in-laws force you to attend a relative’s marriage.
Would you still drop your meeting to attend the marriage to please your in-laws?
Wouldn’t that question your priorities and preferences?
Also Read: Why More Women Don’t Say NO In Marriage?
22. Would You Restrict Yourself From Making Your Independent Decisions Because Your In-Laws Wouldn’t Like It?
Say you want to pursue your Phd while your in-laws are against the idea.
In that case, Would you break off your plans just because your in-laws are not in favour of it?
Tell me, what justification do you have for me when you make such a drastic decision?
Is impressing your in-laws more important than your dreams?
23. Would You Force Yourself To Do Something Just Because Your In-Laws Expect It From You?
Say your in-laws expect you to take up a lot of responsibilities and force you to do them.
Would you abide by their expectations, do them all, against your mindset?
Shouldn’t you respect your limitations and constraints in that case?
Be frank – What would you gain by satisfying your in-laws in such a case?
Differences are bound to exist in every relationship, so there is no point daughters in law trying to impress their in-laws. I feel it is high time that DILS understand themselves better and work on only fulfilling their moral obligations towards their in-laws, and not satisfying the latter’s limitless expectations.
Remember, your in-laws should accept you the way you are and that’s how positive relationships evolve. What is your take on this? Share your views in the comments section below!