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What are the traits of a great Mother in Law?

There are so many inspiring qualities of a great mother-in-law. If you identify your MIL as one after reading this blog, the first thing to pursue is gratitude for the woman who’s been an inspiration.

traits of a great mother in law

19 Traits of a Great Mother in Law That Make Her Lovable & Respectable!

Let me explain 🙂



A Great mother-in-law treats her new daughter-in-law warmly

Marriage is a new beginning and quite a drastic change for a woman. 

That said, nothing could be more comforting to a newlywed bride than a mother-in-law who welcomes her into the family with an open heart. A great mother in law will ensure that you are comfortable in the new setting and feel at home.

After all, who can understand the change better than she does, wasn’t she once in the same shoes too?


She encourages you in all your pursuits 

One of the most important traits of a great mother in law is that she encourages her daughter in law in all her pursuits. She constantly stands by her daughter in law as a pillar of support.

So, whether it is supporting her huge decision like a career move or something as small as changing the living room furniture, she’s got your back.


She is the first one to open the channel of communication with her DIL when there’s a misunderstanding

It’s no hidden fact that communication is the key to every successful relationship. This rule applies to a mother in law – daughter in law relationship as well.

What distinguishes a good mother in law from a great mother in law is her humility. A great mother in law would keep her ego aside and would not hesitate to be the first one to open a channel of communication when things go wrong.


A Great mother-in-Law is Collaborative, Not Competitive

One of the most important traits of a great mother in law is that she does not try to compete with you. The ” I can do it better” attitude in a mother in law is a red flag and may indicate that she is a jealous mother in law.

A great mother in law is a secure woman. She will never try to sabotage or outperform her daughter in law. In fact, she would offer to help and collaborate with her to get the best out of the situation.


She practices what she preaches

If a mother in law believes in the fair treatment of all and treats her daughter in law as a second class citizen, she definitely needs to dig in more deeply into herself.

Contrarily, a great mother-in-law practices what she preaches. She does not have a separate set of rules and values for herself and for others.


She respects her daughter-in-law for what she is

Before being a wife to her husband, a daughter in law is a woman. A great mother law would always want to establish a relationship with a daughter in law that is independent of her son. She tries to connect with her on a woman to woman level.

This creates a deeper level of understanding between the two women which is healthy, non-judgemental and bias-free.


She graciously accepts the change in her relationship with her son, post his marriage

A mother-son relationship is very special and sometimes it makes it difficult for mothers to let go of their sons. In fact, research has found out that mothers have the DNA of their sons forever “stored” in their brains.

Surprisingly, a good mother in law understands that after marriage, her equation with her son has changed. She respects the relationship between her son and the DIL. She slowly steps out and allows her son to move ahead and concentrate on his own family.


She catches up with changing times

A great mother in law tries to keep herself up to date with the ways of the world. She tries to understand the implications of change and tries the best to keep up, to strengthen her relationship with the son’s family.

For example, a good mother in law would never curtail her daughter-in-law’s freedom or discourage her career advancement, to fulfill her domestic duties.


She respects your boundaries

It goes without saying that every great mother in law needs to understand and respect the differences between herself and her daughter in law.

A great mother in law is not the one who tries to be a best friend to her daughter in law. She is mature enough to form a respectful and meaningful relationship with her without overstepping her boundaries.


She doesn’t force you to adopt her traditions

It is unfair for a mother in law to expect her daughter in law to inculcate the same set of values and beliefs as she holds. As an individual, a daughter-in-law is to have her own beliefs and a mother in law must respect that.

A great mother in law is one who does not force her religious beliefs, practices, traditions, and customs upon her daughter in law.


She doesn’t expect you to be a stereotype

Is it not unacceptable to come across a mother-in-law who expects her daughter in law to stick to age-old stereotypes such as a woman alone is responsible for household duties?

Rather a mother who has raised her son to be equally responsible on the same front, is a good mother in law.


She treats you as fairly as her son

One of the most defining traits of a great mother in law is that she does not discriminate between her son and her daughter in law. A good relationship should not have any scope of bias.

It is natural for a mother to favour her own child over others. However, once the child is married, their spouse becomes an important part of their life. A good mother in law acknowledges this and keeps both the husband and wife at the same pedestal.


She never compares you to her own children

As much as people might debate, the truth is that a daughter in law is not a daughter. A good mother in law understands and respects this fact.

A good mother in law would never compare her own children to her daughters in law.


An understanding mother-in-law never interferes in your parenting 

Grandmothers can be very attached to their grandchildren, but they have to realise that they aren’t their mothers. The onus of raising the children lies completely on the parents, and while the grandparents can assist in that, they must not interfere.

A good mother in law would not interfere in your parenting style. She respects you as a parent and allows you to make all the important decisions of your child’s life. Most importantly, she would never undermine your authority, especially in front of the children.


She respects your space

One of my friend’s MIL rearranges her whole kitchen whenever she is visiting. She points out all the “wrong” things she is doing and tries to “fix” them. If you are a mother in law reading this, take note, that is definitely not a trait of a good mother in law.

A good mother in law is one who accepts your lifestyle and doesn’t try to change it. She gives you and your husband ample space to follow through their own lifestyle and choices.


She doesn’t speak negatively about you to others 

Many mothers in law are in the habit of spreading negativity and bad-mouthing their daughters-in-law in front of others. A good mother in law would never indulge in this type of behaviour.

A good mother in law would ensure that if she has some unresolved issues with you, she would bring them up to you.


She remembers important days and events in your life 

A Great mother in law will always remember the important days and events in your life. She is not pushy but definitely makes an effort to be a part of your life.

She sends her best wishes on your birthday, follows through with the results from a doctor’s appointment, and congratulates you on your professional achievements.


A great mother-in-law is not preachy and gives advice only when asked

Some mothers-in-law are in the habit of excessively being preachy and giving unsolicited advice. They constantly try to meddle with your married life and try to impose their opinions on you.

A good mother-in-law knows her boundaries very well.  Despite being a part of your life she maintains a respectful distance and refrains from passing judgements and giving you advice on conducting your everyday business.


She is the first to offer a helping hand in your difficult times

Blessed are the women who have an understanding mother in law who are always willing to help them out in a difficult situation.

Whether it is the last minute planning of a family gathering or offering to babysit your children on a busy day, a great mother in law is a woman you can count on to have your back.



Great mothers-in-law create healthy families!

Having a supportive mother-in-law who respects her daughter-in-law can bring in joy not only in the life of the daughter-in-law but also to the whole family.

I hope every woman strive to build these most inspiring traits to become a great, evolved mother-in-law. 


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