Is it ok to not like your in laws – Has this question been bothering you lately?
As a daughter in law myself, I understand that your in-laws would keep testing your patience time and again through their annoying behaviour and talks which might leave a bad impression on you about them. But do you think it is right? Come, let’s discuss it in detail.
Is It Ok To Not Like Your In-Laws – A Complete Analysis That Will Clear Your Doubt!
If you are a DIL who is finding it hard to accept your in-laws’ behavior and cannot get well with them, then it is time for you to give a rethink and reset. Don’t worry, I can help you with it!
12 Obvious Reasons That Could Make a DIL Dislike Her In-Laws
Here, I have come up with a list of 12 Reasons that could make a DIL develop distaste towards her in-laws. Just check them out and in case you could resonate with any of them, I could help you come out of your confusion spell to my best. Are you with me?
Are you someone who is having a tough time dealing with your high-handed in-laws?
Do you have trouble facing them considering their dominating and overpowering nature?
Are your in-laws trying to control you through their actions and words all the time?
Do you think their presence creates hostility and discomfiture for you to exist in their place?
If yes, it is highly possible that you are not so happy about your in-laws. Am I right?
2. Do You Think That Your In-Laws Influence Their Son A Lot?
It is not wrong for a woman to expect her spouse to be supportive of her considering that she has left her family to live with the latter. But what if that expectation is being tampered with by her in-laws?
Of course, no DIL could accept it if her in-laws are striving to manipulate their son against her.
Tell me, Would you as a DIL accept it?
In that case, do you not think this could be one of the factors that could make you develop a dislike towards your in laws?
3. Do Your In-Laws Affect Your Personal Space?
It is natural for every woman to own their personal space and spend time on things they want to.
That said, how would you feel if your in-laws hamper you from working or reading your favorite book through their constant beckoning and imposition of work?
Would it not affect you considering that they do not respect your personal space and time?
Don’t such instances annoy you and make you develop distaste towards your in-laws?
4. Have You Noticed Your In-Laws Backbiting A Lot About You?
Say you are working from home and you realize that you have to visit the supermarket to buy groceries for the house.
As you leave, how would you feel if you spot your MIL talking rubbish about you to the security lady?
Wouldn’t that leave you stunned and stumped?
Don’t you think such events could etch a scar in you about your in-laws? Wouldn’t that manifest as revulsion in you in the long term?
Considering such cases, is it ok to not like your in laws?
5. Have You Ever Realized That Your In-Laws Never Care About Your Feelings?
Do you often find yourself in situations where your in-laws pass barbs at you mindlessly?
Do Your In-Laws Annoy You With Their Undirected Comments And Attitude all the time?
Do you think they behave and talk to you in ways unmindful of your emotions and feelings?
Are your in-laws ignorant of your needs and feelings?
If yes, wouldn’t such insensible actions of theirs leave you frustrated?
Wouldn’t that act as one of the reasons for you to develop dislike towards your in-laws?
6. Do You Feel That Your In-Laws Don’t Respect Your Privacy With Your Spouse?
In some cases , it is possible to find in-laws who do not understand the concept of husband and wife privacy.
That said, how would you feel if your FIL or MIL barges into your room without knocking when you are actually enjoying some personal space with your partner?
Wouldn’t that piss you off?
And would it not provide you a basis to build dislike towards your parents-in-laws? That said, is it ok to not like your in laws?
7. Do You Think Your In-Laws Hamper Your Space and Independence?
Are your in-laws impeding you from practicing your freedom?
Do they stand in your way blocking you from doing things of your interest?
Do your in-laws make you seek approval from them for each and everything?
If your answer is yes to these questions, do you find yourself saturated with their unruly restrictions and behaviour?
Again if you could resonate with the above question, would it not come by as one of the causes for you to not like your in-laws?
8. Your In-Laws Never Acknowledge And Appreciate Your Work
Have you ever felt discouraged because you have never reaped any praises and encouragement for the work you do for your family?
Do you find yourself less motivated because your in-laws keep finding flaws with you no matter however hard you work for them?
In that case, wouldn’t you feel disappointed?
Wouldn’t such conditions make you develop frustration towards your in-laws?
9. Are Your In-laws Nosy?
Do you find your in-laws intervening time and again in matters concerning you and your spouse?
Do they make it a point to know a lot about your relationship with your spouse?
Are your in-laws seemingly curious about your parents, family, and friends?
Do they keep nagging you time and again with irrelevant questions? I came across this article in spokesman.com which discusses solutions to nosy in-laws.
In such cases, do you feel annoyed with your in-laws?
10. Do Your In-Laws Often Complain About Your Parents?
Any woman would not like it, if her parents-in-laws take a dig at her parents.
That said, how would you feel when your in-laws unnecessarily comment about your parents?
What if they keep complaining about the way your parents did your marriage?
Would that not test your temperament?
Now tell me, aren’t such instances capable of triggering bitterness towards your in-laws?
11. Do Your In-Laws Humiliate You All The Time?
Are your in-laws always critical of your dressing style and the way you carry yourself?
Do they keep finding faults with your cooking and behaviour?
Do they always keep saying that you are being irresponsible considering the way you bring up your child or your spending habits?
If yes, wouldn’t such instances lead you to building a sour relationship with them?
That said, is it ok to not like your in laws?
12. Are Your In-Laws Against You Pursuing Your Career?
If you are someone who wishes to be financially independent, it would obviously be infuriating if your in-laws oppose your plans.
That said, when your dreams are challenged, would that not cause a strain in your relationship with your in-laws?
Does that not mean you could unknowingly develop bitterness towards them?
OR If You Feel Your Dislike Towards Your In-Laws Is Meaningless…
Preconceived notions act as a major threat to each and every relationship. That said, if your reason does not fare anywhere in the above mentioned list and you do not like your in-laws for no substantial reason, then it is time for you to reflect and reset your mindset. Why detest someone for no proper reason at all?
Why Developing Distaste Towards Your In-Laws Is Not Good For You And Your Relationship?
I understand that your in-laws might annoy and taunt you for reasons unknown but do you think treating them back with their own-pill will do good to you?
Building Negativity Towards Your In-Laws Could Drain Your Mental Health And Originality
My point is, you do not have to necessarily love your in-laws.
But, do you not think building unnecessary pressure and negativity towards your in-laws could manifest psychologically and affect your mental health?
Remember, developing bitterness towards your in-laws will not just affect your sanity but will also change the trajectory of your character. Do you want to become bad just because your in-laws are bad?
You Have To Be A Stickler Of Moral Duties No Matter What!
Also, since your in-laws are people whom you might have to face time and again, building antipathy towards them will only keep you from obliging your moral-responsibilities towards them as a Daughter-in-law. Do you think that is right?
Dear DIL, Please Take A Balanced Approach!
Considering all this, can’t you take a balanced approach towards your in-laws? Here are a few tips from me that will help you out –
|1) Stay Assertive when your in-laws unnecessarily bother you.|
|2) Try to focus on your in-laws’ positive characteristics more.|
|3) Ignore your in-laws’ mindless acts.|
|4) If possible, forgive and forget your in-laws’ bad behaviour and actions.|
To summarize, remain neutral towards your parents-in-laws so that you could continue being sane, highly-principled, and most important of all, true to yourself!
If you have any more points to add to this, you could share them in the comments section below. I would be glad to read them:)