Did you just realize that you have been controlling your partner without your knowledge? If yes, is it ok being controlling in a relationship?
A lot of relationships collapse owing to compression and restrictions ruling them; if you are supposedly a partner who is hell-bent on controlling your better-half, you have to pause your thought-process and reflect over them.
Don’t worry, this blog is right here to assist you!
Is It Ok Being Controlling In A Relationship – A Comprehensive Guide Just For YOU!
Have you done a boat-ride ever? If yes, have you seen the rower asking all the travellers to sit in an equally scattered fashion?
The logic behind his statement is that only when all the weights in the boat are spread equally across, could the boat maintain its equilibrium.
The same is applicable to relationships where balance is extremely essential. If you are someone who is trying to control your partner, eating out his space and independence, don’t you think your relationship balance would be disturbed?
In case you are still confused, don’t worry. I am going to take you through an emotional trial that will light answers to all apprehensions in your head.
Come, let’s get to know them in detail!
How Would You Feel If Your Partner Controls You?
Whenever you try to control your partner, do you even bother to think what he might go through?
Here, I can tell you for sure that unless and until you have a taste of your own medicine, you cannot really perceive your partner’s difficulties and despair under such circumstances.
That is why in this blog, I have come up with a list of questions to open your eyes to the emotional turbulences of being controlled by your partner!
Would You Like It When Your Spouse Controls Your Social Media Usage?
Let’s say you are a social media buff while your spouse is completely the opposite.
Though an ardent user, you know what you are doing.
In that case, your spouse asks you not to post your pictures on social media; he also insists you to not chat too much with your friends. Would you be able to stand it?
Also to make things worse, your spouse keeps a tab on your social media behaviour, sneaks into your chat box every now and then and scans through your conversations.
Wouldn’t that annoy you given that you are quite in control of your activities?
Now tell me, is it ok being controlling in a relationship?
Also Read:: 27 Crucial Signs Of A Jealous Husband
Would You Like It If Your Partner Interferes In Your Finances And Money?
Considering you are a working person, how would you feel when your partner takes charge of your salary?
What if he tries to stop you from shopping your requirements with your hard-earned money?
What if he controls your finances against your wish?
Would You Like It If Your Partner Hampers Your Independence And Freedom?
You desire to go out with your friends and your partner objects to it.
You plan to go on a solo trip while your partner plays a spoilsport.
You plan to go on a job while your partner stops you.
You stand up for yourself against your in-laws’ nuisance and your spouse gags your mouth.
Do you think you could stand such unfair treatment by your spouse? When your hands are tied and mouth shut by your partner everywhen, wouldn’t you feel terrible?
Would You Like It When Your Partner Makes You Do What He Thinks Is Right?
You go to the supermarket and buy all the stuff asked by only your spouse; you are afraid to even buy something of your choice without taking your spouse’s word.
You go to the ghee store and you don’t know how much butter to buy; you worry and call your spouse to clarify your doubt.
In both these cases, don’t you think you unknowingly start obliging your spouse’s instructions?
How would you feel if you are made to do what your partner thinks all the time, impeding your independent decision-making skills?
If this cannot be called controlling in a relationship, then what is? Don’t you see its undesirable side-effects?
Also Read:: 29 Red-Flags In A Marriage
Would You Like It If Your Partner Stops You From Pursuing Your Passion?
Assuming you want to build your own business, how would you feel if your partner mocks at your ideas?
Would you bear to see your dreams in shambles owing to your partner’s controlling behaviour?
Would You Like It If Your Partner Checks On You Every Now And Then When You Are At Work?
Considering your spouse is reeling under jealousy, he keeps calling you while you are at work just to check on you and your activities.
Afraid, you pick his calls and answer all his ridiculous questions every time. Is it ok being controlling in a relationship like this?
When your own spouse doesn’t believe you and keeps monitoring you, wouldn’t you feel bad?
Would You Like It If Your Partner Annoyingly Checks On You When You Are Out With Your Friends?
Suppose you are out with your friends and your partner, out of doubt keeps ringing you in intervals.
As though you are a kid, your spouse keeps trailing you all the time. Should such behaviour even be encouraged in a relationship?
Would You Like It If Your Partner Dictates Who You Should Talk And Who You Should Not Talk To?
How would you feel if your partner asks you to stop talking to your mother OR your best friend for no reason?
Is it ok for you to listen to his unreasonable demands just because you are bound by a relationship?
Would You Like It If Your Partner Imposed His Decisions On You?
Say your spouse says –
“I have received my promotion at office and we are supposed to relocate soon; so better put in your papers at your office as soon as possible” – Isn’t that an imposition?
How would you feel when your spouse just gives you information every time and never asks for your opinion before making important decisions?
Is that even fair in a relationship?
This article from tonyrobbins.com discusses the essentialities of making joint decisions in a relationship.
Would You Like It If Your Partner Acts Weird When You Do Something He Doesn’t Like – One Of The Indirect Ways Of Controlling In A Relationship!
Let’s say your spouse doesn’t like you talking to your neighbour.
As he returns from office, he notices you talking to your neighbour; the moment you face him, he doesn’t talk to you. He goes on about his business creating an unfriendly ambiance for you.
Now wouldn’t such a situation push you into a dilemma the next time you face your neighbour? Wouldn’t you experience a sort of fear?
If this cannot be called controlling in a relationship, then what is?
Is It Ok For You To Be Afraid Of Your Partner Over Anything – Like You Are Afraid Of Discussing Or Showing Something To Him?
Let’s say your parents take you out and get you a lot of clothes.
On the other hand, your spouse who is against such things starts shouting at you as he sees what you have brought home.
So from the next time, wouldn’t you feel hesitant when your parents try to get you a dress? Wouldn’t you be afraid to face your spouse later if your parents forcefully get you something?
Tell me now, is it ok being controlling in a relationship?
Also Read:: Why Is Mindfulness Important In Couples?
Would You Like It When Your Partner Stops You From Going To Your Maternal House?
In a society dunked in patriarchy, it is only a wonder if your spouse doesn’t object to you going to your house.
How would you handle such situations? Don’t you think meeting your parents is your right?
Would You Like It If Your Partner Forces You Into A Physical Relationship?
Let’s say your husband forces you into a physical relationship when you are not in the right mindset.
He tries not to understand you and simply imposes his desires on you.
How would you feel in such situations?
Would You Like It If Your Partner Forces You To Start A Family When You Are Not Prepared At All?
Conception is subject to the consent of both the husband and wife. That said, how would you feel if your spouse says, “We are going to have a child”, when you are mentally not prepared?
Is that even fair? How is it ok being controlling in a relationship? Is a relationship a one man’s boat?
Would You Like It When Your Partner Exercises His Male-Authority Over You?
Get me a cup of coffee.
Prepare rotis for dinner.
How would you feel when your spouse rules the roost, making you do all the domestic chores as though only you are liable for all the house-hold chores?
Every time when your partner commands and imposes his decisions on you, wouldn’t you grow frustrated?
Would You Like It When Your Partner Decides Your Diet?
Assuming you are a foodie, how would you feel when your spouse decides on what you should and should not eat?
Say your mother prepares your favorite french fries as you visit her and your spouse stops you from relishing it.
Considering that you have not taken any junk food lately, wouldn’t your spouse’s restrictive approach piss you off?
Would You Like It If Your Partner Makes You Do Things Forcefully According To His Needs?
Let’s say you wish to spend the weekend at home without any bustle.
On the contrary, your partner decides to invite his cousins for lunch. As you try to explain your stance to him, he stops you midway and coerces you to agree to his idea.
Is it ok being controlling in a relationship? Can this not be called compulsion?
Would You Like It When Your Partner Stops You From Giving Your Salary To Your Parents?
Considering your parents are not well-off financially, you intend to give your earnings to them as a responsible daughter.
Your spouse, on the other hand, is not in favour of your thoughts and stops you without any reason. How would you feel in such a case?
Would You Like It When Your Partner Doesn’t Allow You To Go Anywhere Without Him?
Say you are an independent person and were raised in such a way at your maternal house.
Unfortunately your spouse is a little fearful of your independence and advises you to rely on him to even buy vegetables from the market.
He enforces such a condition and makes you feel worse. Tell me, would that do any good to your relationship?
If You Don’t Feel It Right When Controlled In A Relationship, Is It Right Of You To Control Your Partner?
I am sure by now, you would have understood what it is like to be controlled by your partner.
When you cannot stand being controlled by your partner, how could you even subject your partner to such mental agony? Is that even right?
Don’t you think it would give rise to unnecessary problems in your relationship?
Too Much Intervention In Your Partner’s Life Will Do No Good To Your Relationship!
Just because your partner is committed to you doesn’t mean you could take him for granted. Don’t you think he deserves his own space?
As a human, your partner has the right to do what he desires; he has the right to make his own choices and decisions.
I have also written a blog on 71 Daily Affirmations for Married Couples which you might find useful. You could read it, if interested 🙂
Be A Guiding Light To Your Partner!
It is OK to guide your partner when he is not walking in the right direction. You could give your views and suggestions redirecting him along the path of morality.
Rather if you choose to impose a lot of things on him against his wishes, it will only compress your relationship.
Based on the criticality of the situation, you should know when and how to handle your partner.
There Is A Fine Line That Separates Care And Control In A Relationship
Perhaps you care too much for your partner, the very reason why you try to keep him under your control – Of course, love blinds you in a lot of ways.
But at times, without your knowledge when the care you have towards your partner metamorphoses into control, it will end up hurting your relationship.
So be very careful about how you handle your partner.
The sooner you realize your controlling stance and change yourself, the better it is for your relationship. Focus on building a healthy relationship with your spouse; seek external assistance if required!
If you have any thoughts to share OR questions to ask, do post them in the comments section below. I would be glad to address them 🙂
