Are you wondering how to behave with in laws before marriage?
If you are a woman who is about to get hitched, then it is no wonder if your head is spinning with innumerable questions on your to-be in-laws and appropriate ways to behave with them.
Don’t worry, I can help you out with that, for I was in your place too a few years back!
How To Behave With In Laws Before Marriage – 13 Successful Ways That Will Help Every To-Be-Daughter-In-Law Out There!
I could sense your inhibitions too. I could see you struggle having no idea how to act in front of your future in laws.
But you know what – Every problem has a solution.
And that is why, you have to stop worrying unnecessarily.
In this blog, I have come up with 13 best ways to effectively deal with your partner’s parents – Shall we see what they are?
1. How to Behave With In Laws Before Marriage – Please Be Yourself, That Is How You Could Establish a Genuine Bond With Them 🙂
Most women fall prey to their unfounded fear and wariness about their future in-laws; the very reason why they change their natural ways and means to fit in with them.
The fact is women cannot be seeking approval from their in-laws all their lives – Does that not mean they are compromising on their character & genuineness all the time?
Remember, no relationship thrives when it is not true and genuine!
Also Read: Why DILS should stop seeking approval?
2. Don’t Fear, Express Your Needs Openly To Your to-be In-Laws!
It is no wonder if you face differences with your in-laws under a few circumstances even before you get married – Let me give you two examples here to add clarity to the case in point.
Scenario 1 –
Let’s say you go on your wedding shopping with your in-laws and they are to get you a saree.
You shortlist two of which your MIL sticks firm to just one particular design and color.
On the other hand, you like another saree way better than your MIL’s choice.
Now you feel plagued by a plethora of inhibitions like these –
What should I do?
If I go with her choice, I wouldn’t be satisfied.
But what if she feels offended if I go against her selection?
In such a case, don’t worry about anything and simply say, “I like the blue one better, aunty” and make your choice!
After all, you could politely refuse your MIL’s pick and there is no harm in that at all.
Scenario 2 –
Say you are having a discussion with your in-laws about your career.
Considering that they show their displeasure over you going for a job, how would you deal with such a situation?
Would you prefer to satisfy them when you are not happy about their ideas – Of course, you should not, right?
That is why in such cases, you need to boldly and gently express your thoughts and goals clearly to your in-laws.
To add more value to my example, I have taken this article from huffpost.com that talks about women losing themselves in marriage by choosing to agree with everyone around, isn’t that sad?
In this case, you also need to remember that you cannot hide OR express your thoughts bluntly to your in-laws It would end up straining your relationship with them!
3. Never Compromise On Being Respectful Of/Around Your In-Laws, Come What May!
Our values always teach us to behave respectfully with elders, isn’t it?
But how to hold on to that value when situations are infuriating, and especially when it concerns your to-be in-laws?
Yes, you might have to face situations where your in-laws seemingly test your patience.
In such cases, as a to-be daughter-in-law, you might be pondering how to behave with in laws before marriage, obviously – Isn’t it?
Be honest – Had it been your parents OR elders from your family, how would you have handled them under such demanding circumstances?
With due RESPECT, isn’t it – The same should be adhered to in the case of your in-laws as well – After all, aren’t they your fiances’ parents?
4. Be Polite To Your In-Laws, No Matter What!
No matter what, always stick to talking to your in-laws gently and with due respect – Address them with labels, “Aunty or Uncle” and make them feel connected to you instantly.
Obviously, you are going to become a part of their family, so this close association is mandatory 🙂
Plus, you cannot lose your character and future-family to your aggressive/mindless behaviour – Indeed, they are delicate and need to be handled with care!
5. Shed Your Preconceived Notions About Your to-be In-Laws And Strike A Friendly Bond With Them!
Most women tend to paint bad pictures of their in-laws in general – And that when they have no idea about them.
Is that right?
Your in-laws might be good OR bad, but why do you even create ideas about them of your own – Wouldn’t that lead to unnecessary negativity about them in your mind?
Is that how you should begin your marriage?
Remember, a happy family could only be built with smile, friendliness, and love – So always approach your in-laws with a warm smile and bonhomie.
It will NO DOUBT make them happy and help you forge a beautiful bond with them in the long run!
6. Don’t Discuss Irrelevant Subjects With Your to-be In-Laws!
Sometimes, when you are talking to your in-laws privately, there might arise certain topics revolving around your families OR any other personal aspect surrounding your life.
In such cases, unless and until it is necessary, you should not reveal OR discuss anything about it – Undeniably, the relationship you share with your in-laws is more sensitive and delicate. SO you need to know how to manage it well 🙂
7. Don’t Avoid Talking To Your In-Laws!
I know most of you might not be comfortable talking to your in-laws initially.
But since you are about to establish a major relationship with them for your lifetime, it becomes necessary for you to talk to them.
Meaning that, if your in-laws make any kind of efforts to talk to you, try to reciprocate them instead of avoiding them.
If you ask me how I managed OR managing even now, I must tell you – I am not a phone-person basically. So I don’t interact much with my in-laws on phone. But if they talk, I have been training myself to not avoid their calls!
You don’t have to talk for hours altogether with them, maybe limiting your conversations to a few pleasantries will be more than enough.
8. Be Aware Of What You Talk With Your to-be In-Laws
If you are supposedly a chatty person, you should turn conscious of what you speak with your in-laws.
In such cases, try to become a good listener and give your in-laws a chance to speak – Now, are you getting a grip on how to behave with in laws before marriage?
9. Draw Your Boundaries Clearly With Your to-be In-Laws!
As much as you need to maintain a solid relationship with your in-laws, it is also important to maintain boundaries with them.
Becoming too nosy in your in-laws’ family affairs OR trying to form a close-knit bond with them by sharing your personal secrets would sometimes backfire as the relationship is flimsy per se.
That said, how to behave with in laws before marriage – Draw your boundaries clear with them 🙂
10. If Your In-Laws Seem Overpowering, Try To Stay Assertive!
Dear woman, remember you are getting married for a lifetime, so making constant compromises will not work for you in the long term.
So if you think your in-laws are overbearing, what is the point in resisting them?
I don’t mean to say that you should fight back OR talk to them aggressively.
Just that when there comes situations where your self-respect and independence is questioned, you should stand up for yourself.
In case you need help on building assertiveness as a daughter-in-law, I have written a complete blog on the subject!
11. Be Honest With Your to-be In-Laws, Wherever You Have To!
Say your in-laws expect you to change your name after marriage but you are not interested – Would you still go on and do it just because your in-laws want it done?
I am so sorry but if you have ideas to impress your in-laws and can let go of your stance so easily, then I feel it is time for you to rethink and revamp your mindset.
Sometimes, you have to be transparent about your thoughts even if the outcomes are a little unpleasant; for don’t you think your in-laws should accept you the way you are already?
12. Do Not Complaint When Your to-be In-Laws Do Something Special For You 🙂
Consider your in-laws present you a saree for your birthday which you don’t like – Would you go ahead and blatantly tell them that you do not like it?
If at all you do so, understand that you are on the wrong side.
Shouldn’t you be reciprocative when people do something for you – Isn’t that what value is?
Be it your in-laws OR anyone for that matter, the same rule applies, isn’t it?
So, how to behave with in laws before marriage – Acknowledge whenever your in-laws’ do something beautiful for you.
Showing your gratitude to their pleasant gesture will make your budding relationship stronger 🙂
13. Speak To Your In-Laws Only If You Want To OR If Necessary
Calling up your in-laws once in a while and creating a bond with them is a good idea but do so only if you are comfortable.
Or in cases where you have to necessarily discuss things with your in-laws, go ahead and talk to them – Try not to be negligent in such situations.
Always Focus On Creating a Neutral Relationship With Your to-be In-Laws – That’s The Best Way To Go!
Forging the right kind of bond with your to-be-in-laws is possible only if you remain true to yourself and make genuine efforts for them right from the beginning.
Rather, if you try to make the relationship overtly complex by being hasty OR flattering around them all the time, it will only end up threatening your association in the long term – What do you choose?
How did you like this blog – Post your thoughts in the Comments below.
Also, if you could share this blog in your circles, it would benefit some about-to-become daughter-in-law in many ways – Thank you in advance 🙂