Are you about to get hitched and so anxious on How to behave with in laws before marriage?
Don’t worry, this blog teaches you how to strike the right chord with your future in-laws without compromising on your ideologies and originality. Scroll down to learn what they are!
How To Behave With In Laws Before Marriage – 13 Must-Knows For Every To-Be-Daughter-In-Law Out There!
Here are 13 effective ways to approach your partner’s parents before marriage –
BE YOURSELF, The Most Required Approach To Strike A Genuine Bond With Them 🙂
Most women fall prey to their unfounded fear and wariness about their future in-laws; the very reason why they change their natural ways and means to fit in with them.
Speaking practicality, women cannot keep seeking approval from their in-laws all their lives. Ask yourself this question, are you ready to compromise on your character & genuineness based on your in-laws’ behaviour?
For that matter, no relationship could thrive when built on fear and judgements. Be genuine, the way you are with your future in-laws without letting their behaviour and expectations affect you.
Don’t Hesitate/ Fear To Express Yourself Before Your to-be In-Laws!
It is common to face differences with your in-laws under a few circumstances even before you get married. Let me give you two examples here for more clarity.
Scenario 1 –
Let’s say you go on your wedding shopping with your in-laws and it is decided that they should get you a saree.
You shortlist two sarees of which your MIL sticks firm to one particular design and color. Assuming you prefer the one which is not your MIL’s choice, you are sure to face a plethora of inhibitions.
What do I do?
What if she feels offended if I go against her selection?
Under such circumstances, don’t be afraid to go with your choice. Be casual and express that you like the one you chose a lot than the one she chose for you.
Be assured, there is no harm in politely refusing your MIL’s choice if you are not satisfied with it.
Scenario 2 –
Let’s say you are having a discussion with your in-laws about your career.
Considering they show their displeasure over you going for a job, you will be posed with a difficult situation to deal with.
Don’t worry, when your ideologies do not align with theirs, there is no wrong in gently expressing your thoughts and goals to your in-laws.
Adding value to my above point is the screenshot below I took from an article I read in huffpost.com that talks about women losing themselves in marriage by choosing to agree with everyone around –
Ensure not to be too blunt while communicating your thoughts to your in-laws. But Never dare to lose your life for the so called suppressive stereotypes!
Never Compromise On Being Respectful Of/Around Your In-Laws, Come What May!
Our values always teach us to behave respectfully with elders, isn’t it?
But how to hold on to that value when situations are triggering, and especially when it concerns your to-be in-laws?
Sometimes, You cannot avoid situations where your in-laws’ behaviour could unintentionally test your patience.
Ask yourself, Had it been your parents OR elders from your family, how would you have handled them under such demanding circumstances?
With DUE RESPECT, isn’t it? The same should be adhered to in the case of your in-laws as well. After all, aren’t they your fiances’ parents?
Always Be Polite To Your In-Laws!
No matter what, always stick to talking to your in-laws gently and with due respect. Address them with labels, “Aunty or Uncle” and make them feel connected to you instantly.
Obviously, you are going to become a part of their family, so this close association is mandatory 🙂
Plus, you cannot afford to lose your character and future-family to your aggressive/mindless behaviour. So handle with care!
Shed Your Preconceived Notions About Your In-Laws And Strike A Friendly Bond With Them!
Most women have a bad picture painted of the in-laws in general. Thanks to patriarchy! But Is that even fair especially when they have no idea about them?
Whether your in-laws are good OR bad, why do you even develop unnecessary negativity about them in your mind? Is that how you should begin your marriage?
Remember, a happy family could only be built with friendliness, and love. So always approach your in-laws with a warm smile and bonhomie.
It will NO DOUBT make them happy and help you forge a beautiful bond with them in the long run!
Don’t Discuss Irrelevant Subjects With Your to-be In-Laws!
While having private conversations with your in-laws, it is possible to encounter certain subjects involving your family OR any other aspect concerning your personal life.
Under such circumstances, stay aware and do not divulge any insensitive OR confidential information which will do no good to you OR your relationship with them in the long run.
Undeniably, the relationship you share with your in-laws is more sensitive and delicate. SO you need to know how to manage it well 🙂
Don’t Avoid Talking To Your In-Laws!
I know most of you might not feel comfortable talking to your in-laws initially.
But since you are about to establish a major relationship with them for your lifetime, it becomes necessary for you to talk to them.
Meaning that, if your in-laws make any kind of efforts to talk to you, try to reciprocate them instead of avoiding them.
If you ask me how I managed OR managing even now, I must tell you – I am not a phone-person. So I don’t interact much with my in-laws on phone. But if they talk, I have been training myself to not avoid their calls!
You don’t have to talk for hours altogether with them, maybe limiting your conversations to a few pleasantries will be more than enough.
Be Aware Of What You Talk With Them
If you are supposedly a chatty person, you should try to become aware of what you speak with your in-laws.
Under such situations, train yourself to become a good listener and give your in-laws a chance to speak. That way, you become mindful while speaking to them.
Draw Your Boundaries Clear With Your to-be In-Laws!
As much as you need to maintain a solid relationship with your in-laws, it is also important to maintain boundaries with them.
Becoming too nosy into your in-laws’ family affairs OR trying to form a close-knit bond with them by sharing your personal secrets would sometimes backfire as the relationship is flimsy per se.
That said, how to behave with in laws both before and after marriage? Draw your boundaries clear with them 🙂
If Your In-Laws Seem Overpowering, Try To Stay Assertive!
Dear woman, remember you are getting married for a lifetime, so making constant compromises will not work for you in the long term.
So if you think your in-laws are overbearing, what is the point in resisting them?
I am not saying that you should fight back OR talk to them aggressively. Just that when situations question your self-respect and independence, you SHOULD stand up for yourself.
Be Honest With Your to-be In-Laws, Wherever You Have To!
Let’s say your in-laws expect you to change your name after marriage but you are not interested. Would you still go on and do it just because your in-laws want it done?
I am so sorry but if you have ideas to impress your in-laws and can let go of your stance so easily, then I feel it is time for you to rethink and revamp your mindset.
Sometimes, you have to be transparent about your thoughts even if the outcomes are a little unpleasant; for don’t you think your in-laws should accept you the way you are already?
Accept Whatever Your They Do For You Gracefully 🙂
Consider your in-laws present you a saree for your birthday which you don’t like. Would you go ahead and blatantly tell them that you do not like it?If at all you do so, understand that you are on the wrong side.
After all, Is it not in our values to be reciprocative when people do something for you?
So, learn to acknowledge whenever your in-laws’ do something beautiful for you.
Showing your gratitude to their pleasant gestures will strengthen your budding relationship more than you think 🙂
Speak To Your In-Laws Only If Necessary
Calling up your in-laws once in a while and creating a bond with them is a good idea but do so only if you are comfortable.
Or in cases where you have to necessarily discuss things with them, go ahead and talk to them. At any cost, Please do not do it if you are feeling forced.
Always Focus On Maintaining a Neutral Relationship With Your to-be In-Laws – That’s The Best Route To Take For A Long-Term Relationship!
Never make your relationship with the in-laws overtly complex by being hasty OR flattering around them all the time.
Remain true to yourself and make genuine efforts for them right from the beginning, that is the ONLY way to forge and sustain the right kind of bond with your future in-laws!
If this blog helped you deal with your to-be-in-laws, please post your thoughts in the comments below. I am looking forward to hearing from You!
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