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There are a good number of reasons to not live with in laws. 

If you are a daughter-in-law dreading to live with your in-laws, you should be aware of these 25 disadvantages associated with it. Continue reading for more insights.

Reasons Why You Shouldn't Live With Your In-Laws


Does Living With In-Laws Affect Marriage – 25 Startling Reasons To Not Live With Your In Laws! 

In one of my previous blogs, I came up with an analysis whether living with in-laws is a good idea or not while in this post I discuss  the cons of living in a joint family. What are they? Let’s find out!

1. When In-Laws Test Your Patience With Their Immense Care For Their Son

Let’s say your husband is not keeping well. Obviously, any parent would be concerned about their son under such circumstances.

But what if that concern goes overboard and ends up enraging you, the daughter-in-law?

Wouldn’t you feel the same care for your husband too?

2. When In-Laws Expect You To Do Things The Way They Do For Their Son

Once married, it is for the parents to understand and draw their boundaries clearer.

Rather, if they intervene too much and force their DIL to go about things (be it cooking OR taking care of her husband when he is not in good health; anything for that matter) the they way did for their son, it just doesn’t make sense. Is it not equivalent to destroying a woman’s individuality altogether? Besides, wouldn’t she have her own desires to take care of her husband?

3. Your Personal Space Is Intruded By Your In-Laws

In this developed yet stereotypical age, most in-laws fail to understand their boundaries.

Tell me, would you like it when your in-laws keep disturbing you with some work or the other, when you are working from home OR involved in some other activity? What if it becomes a daily affair? Wouldn’t that become frustrating?

4. You Don’t Enjoy A Dedicated Private Space With Your Partner

Living in a joint family means daughters-in-law will have to give up on a lot of privileges they are entitled to enjoy with their partners otherwise.

The worst part is not being able to find a private space to be with their spouse especially with in-laws around all the time. Isn’t that a disadvantage of living with one’s in-laws?


5. Your Independence Becomes A Question Mark In A Joint Family

Overbearing parents-in-law pose a great threat to their daughters-in-law’s independence.

Wouldn’t that affect their professional growth and also, their ability to make decisions? 

Why living with in laws is a bad idea

6. You Experience Your In-Laws’ Unnecessary Intervention In Your Marriage Life!

It annoys the most when in-laws make it a point to breach their boundaries and interfere in their dils and sons’s private matters.

Shouldn’t in-laws know their boundaries in the first place?

7. You Are Not Able To Plan Trips With Your Spouse

Some dils might face huge responsibilities in a collective family. Some dils might face oppositions from their in-laws which stops them from planning trips with their partners.

How frustrating could this get in the long-run?

8. Establishing A Space Of Your Own In The Presence Of Your In-Laws Isn’t Easy

In India, it is only a wonder if mothers-in-law don’t make kitchen experience bad for the daughters-in-law.

From instructing the DILS to place the spice boxes at the right shelves to cooking the dishes their way, mothers-in-law control their DILS to follow their practices, strapping the latter’s wings.

This is not it. Be it maintaining the house or buying groceries, most in-laws have an upper hand over their DILS.

Amidst all this, how could DILS manage being around their in-laws easily?

9. Visiting Your Parents Is A Problem To The In-Laws

It is after all a daughter-in-law’s own will to visit her parents. Should that invite unnecessary dissent from her in-laws, is that even fair?

Could you, as a daughter-in-law tackle this easily?

10. You Face Persistent Problems In Managing Domestic Responsibilities

When it comes to sharing household responsibilities in a joint family, things get too rigid between MILS and DILS. Especially when both of their ways are not aligned with each other on this front, you know what it could lead to.

This makes it difficult for both the parties to live at peace together in the long run.

11. Most Of Your Decisions Are Not Considered By Your In-Laws

Let’s say you decide to enroll your kid in one of the best schools in town but your in-laws are against it because they have other options in their mind.

But if you choose to be strong in your decision, would it not evoke bitterness in your relationship with your in-laws? This is one of the major reasons why it is not a good idea to live with your in-laws.

12. Your Spending Habits Are Questioned Unnecessarily

Most in-laws don’t like it when daughters-in-law spend even a little for themselves.

They are quick enough to judge and label their DILS  “IRRESPONSIBLE”. Would that not enrage the DILS?

13. Responsibilities Are Everywhere In A Joint Family

Daughters-in-law’s responsibilities in a joint family multiply when their in-laws don’t lend a helping hand.

Especially when the dils are working, management becomes a huge burden. 

Either you should be able to handle it all OR have understanding in-laws who help.

14. Occasional Mental Hindrances Are Inevitable Around Your In-Laws

In-laws’ behaviour towards their daughters-in-law decide the peace-quotient in families.

Unfortunately if they happen to be controlling OR taunting OR complaining about their DILS all the time, it will undeniably impact the latter’s mental health.

Don’t want to live with your in laws

15. Making Adjustments Is The Heart OF A Joint Family

Some in-laws are conservative while some are not. Based on that, the kind of practices in-laws follow tend to affect the daily-life of their DILS.

Making compromises is considerable but not to the extent of the DILS losing themselves.


16. Your Individuality Is Challenged In A Joint Family

When in-laws try to influence their DILS most of times, wouldn’t that impact the latter’s individuality?

Let’s say your cooking style is different from your MIL’s. And your MIL time and again keeps intervening whenever you cook.

Add extra green chillies to this.

Don’t add more sugar to the milkshake.

And so on. 

Obviously annoying, ain’t it? But if you could tackle them wisely, well, you are great 🙂

17. Inviting Your Friends And Family Home Becomes Difficult With Your In-Laws Around!

When in a joint-setup, daughters-in-law cannot easily invite their friends and family at their convenience.

They have to check with their in-laws, gauge their comfort levels, after all they too hold the responsibility of treating their guests hospitably.

If this is a problem for you, living with in-laws doesn’t work.

18. Your In-Laws Keep Complaining The Way You Raise Your Child

Most Indian Parents-In-Law do not appreciate the way their daughters-in-law raise their children because their approaches differ.

But when unnecessary pressure is mounted on the DILS over little little things, it will result in unpleasant situations in the family in the long run.

If you are not an assertive DIL, this could turn daunting for you in the long run.

19. With In-Laws Around, Spending Time With Your Spouse Becomes a Rarity

How could daughters-in-law accommodate time for their spouse with so many responsibilities to shoulder and with in-laws around all the time?

Is it not important to spend some quality time with your husband?

I don't want to live with my in laws anymore

20. Your Plans Go For A Toss Most Of The Times Because Of Your In-Laws

One of the most annoying things about being in a collective family is having to bump into insensitive relatives quite often.

Either they come unannounced to visit your in-laws OR they are invited by your in-laws themselves which you are not aware of.

Let’s say you have planned to visit your friend with your spouse when your spouse’s uncle and aunt show up unexpectedly. How would you feel?

As long as they don’t become a regular affair, things are good.

21. Your Equation With Your Spouse Is Turning More Complex In The Presence Of Your In-Laws

Most men change their attitude in front of their parents. So when things actually get cold between the in-laws and daughters-in-law, most husbands refuse to step in.

If this is a problem you could resonate with, you have got to talk out with your husband about his insensitivity and get things settled for peace in the family.

22. Your In-Laws Manipulate Your Partner Against You

No matter what, some in-laws never fail to keep their son influenced, unbothered about the feelings of their daughters-in-law.

When such behaviour is encouraged, wouldn’t that pose a threat to the DILS’ relationship with their spouse in the long run? If you are facing such a situation, you need to clarify this with your spouse upfront.

To support the case in point, I found this article from THE HINDU that talks about the emotional turbulences a daughter-in-law goes through when her in-laws interfere in her marriage.

I don’t want to live with my in laws


23. Your Self-Respect Becomes A Question Mark In A Joint Set-Up

Many in-laws don’t see it necessary to hear out the views and suggestions of their daughters-in-law.

The problem here is that the DILS are not treated with respect. Thanks to society and its pragmatic stereotypes!

Either we need to build a society that starts seeing daughters-in-laws as human beings OR end up losing daughters-in-law and the family’s peace to its patriarchal mindset.

24. Maintaining A Cordial Relationship With Your In-Laws Always Remains A Challenge

Conflict of interests are inevitable in a joint family.

Whether daughters-in-law choose to be assertive OR aggressive, when differences happen, it affects their relationship with their in-laws.


25. You Have To Think A Lot Before Doing Something In A Joint Family

When it is just the husband and wife, the duo could make quick decisions related to anything and execute them in a flick.

But when it comes to a joint culture, making decisions isn’t as easy. 

Why it is not good to live with in laws

For Joint Families To Thrive, Building Trust & Mutual Understanding Is The Key!

These 25 reasons to not live with your in-laws might not apply to everyone equally. Whatever be the problem you are facing with your in-laws, understand, work out ways and then take a call whether you need to move out or not.

As a value-driven person, I would say for a peaceful family to thrive, developing cent percent trust and understanding is essential from both ends.


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