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Are you striving to find out how to stop being a control freak in a relationship?

If you have understood that being a controlling partner in your marriage life is diminishing the future prospects of your relationship, then you have done a good job by coming here because this blog has been written just for you!

Come, let’s get started!

How do I stop being so controlling in my relationship

How To Stop Being A Control Freak In A Relationship – A One-Stop Solution Guide Just For You!

Of course, relationships don’t thrive where there is an imbalance between the partners involved.

Realizing the fact that you are being a controlling person in your marriage life is in itself a great way to set things right in your relationship. 

Don’t worry, the time you spend on this blog will help you out of your situation!

Build The Habit Of Listening – Never Be That Person Who Is At The Speaking End Always

The problem with most people is their lack of listening skills. And the case is no different in relationships as well.

Let’s say you are having a discussion with your partner on the gift you’d like to present for your cousin’s wedding.

You are quite fixed to buy a silver Chandan pela while your spouse is trying to suggest a better alternative.

Without hearing his stance, you keep babbling your thoughts.

Tell me, would you be able to stand the same attitude when your partner does it to you?

As much as you would expect your partner to hear you out, try to listen to him as well – Cultivate the habit of listening and build enough patience in the process; it will save your relationship from a million blemishes.

How To Stop Being A Control Freak In A RelationshipBuild Enough Patience To Absorb What Your Partner Is Trying To Convey

Listening without focus is like attending a class regularly with no use.

If you try to plug your ears when your partner expresses his views, then you are obviously making a mistake.

Break those barriers that aid your deterring thought-processes and give some space for your partner’s ideas.

For that you have got to compose yourself and understand that you don’t have to necessarily know everything.

Who knows, your shortcomings could be your partner’s strengths. 

Say you are mediocre in handling finances while your partner is a pro in that; supposedly you don’t allow him to give ideas for your financial planning, wouldn’t that be a loss to you?

So the next time when your partner comes to you with his ideas, don’t stop him; rather clear your mind space and pay attention to his views.

Be Open To Differences From Your Partner

Is it a good thing to expect your partner to have the same thoughts as yours?

Suppose you are drawing a plan for your vacation while your partner has other ideas.

He plans for a Shimla trip while you say it is Goa.

Say he tries to cheer in favour of Shimla and his attitude literally chokes you. You struggle to even stomach his ideas and snub him right away. 

Tell me, is it a good sign for a relationship?

Shouldn’t you be accommodative enough of his ideas as his lovable partner?

In that case, how to stop being a control freak in a relationship – Remember, differences are a part and parcel of every relationship; so be open to your partner’s ideas instead of blowing them up!

Also Read:: 29 Red-Flags In A Marriage

Remember You Are In A Relationship With Your Partner – Don’t Make Him A Victim Of Your Obstinacy

Let’s suppose you are receiving two job offers. One at a different city and another in the same city you live by.

You are sure that the offer you have in the second city is a better one but your spouse’s job location is unalterable. 

Instead of considering all factors that include your career and family, you make a rash decision to opt for the different city offer.

Your partner is at cross roads with you, while you are trying to enforce your decision on the matter without heeding his opinion.

Tell me, is that a right way to take your relationship through especially when it could impact your spouse on a large-scale?

Is that even fair on your part to impose your decisions on him?

A wrong decision from your end could spoil your relationship like you never imagined, the worst-hit being your partner; so be aware of what you do and ensure to include your spouse in every important decision that you make.

Understand That Just Because He Is Your Partner, You Cannot Take Him For Granted

Say you want to go on a road-trip while your partner is not so fond of it. But you make all efforts getting him to do what you want.

Is that even right?

Your Partner Is A Human Being Too, Better Respect His Feelings!

Don’t you accept that your partner is a different person with his own choices and emotions?

Just because he chose you, do you think you could play with his feelings and take him for granted?

Be honest, would you be able to accept it if your partner does the same thing to you?

You Cannot Expect Your Partner’s Mindset To Match With Yours

Your partner might love socializing while you might not. Does it mean you could stop him from catching up with his friends?

Your partner might love going on adventurous trips while you might not. Does it mean you could put an end to his trekking expeditions?

Do you think all your fingers are the same length – Obviously no, isn’t it?

Then how could you even expect your partner to comply with your thoughts and patterns?

How to stop being a control freak in a relationship Understand that your partner is a different entity and he has his own choices and ways of doing things.

Learn To Respond To Your Partner, Don’t React

If you are trying to be controlling in your relationship all the time, do you think it would leave a good impression on your partner?

Considering that your partner tells you that he is going on a dinner with his friends and you stop him without giving any thought.

Don’t you think it will affect him?

When you attempt to hamper your partner’s space all the time, you unknowingly make your partner turn averse towards you. That is why, you should never be reactive to situations. 

Give your partner his space to do things he would love to do.

How To Stop Being A Control Freak In A Relationship Give Priority To The Demands Of The Situation, Not Your Expectations

Let’s say you have planned for a car drive with your partner and suddenly your partner drops out of the plan due to unanticipated work demands.

In such a situation, I am sure you would feel disappointed but don’t you think it is not your partner’s fault either?

It Is Ok When Things Don’t Go As Per Your Expectations, Learn To Accept Things As They Are!

When things don’t go your way, don’t make a mess out of it; don’t criticise your partner for letting you down – what could he do when the situation was never in his favour?

That is why you have to make it a point to accept the situation and let go of your despondency. Though not easy, it will heal within a matter of time.

Also Read:: Why Mindfulness Is Important In Couples?

You Don’t Have To Be Right All The Time

Most controlling people are confident enough of their thoughts and actions – The very reason why they don’t budge OR give in to others’ ideas.

If you are one such person, then you have to broaden your mindset.

Just because your partner differs in views from yours, you cannot tell him that he is wrong. First of all, who told you that you cannot be wrong at all?

Remember, no person is perfect; so better drop the mindless armour that you are using to put down your partner always.

Trust Your Partner And His Views

Wouldn’t you feel insulted when your partner doesn’t believe whatever you say, putting you down instead?

Obviously, yes and that is why you should never do the same to him.

Stop Doubting And Validating Your Partner’s Say On Things Unless And Until It Is Required!

Consider you are looking to invest your money in a secure way. Your partner asks you to invest in equities while you chuck off his suggestion.

On the other hand, your father advises you the same thing as your partner and you decide to go by his word.

Tell me, wouldn’t that upset your partner?

Taking external help isn’t wrong but not at the cost of undermining your partner’s capabilities.

In this case, had you shown interest in your partner’s suggestion and then sought your father’s opinion considering the financial risk involved, it would have been acceptable; but you’d merely ignored your partner’s view which is not right at all.

Respect Your Partner And Attach Importance To His Opinions

How to stop being a control freak in a relationship?

Make it a point to respect and give importance to your partner and his opinions. Never belittle him at any cost. 

By not doing so, you would be doing a great disservice to you and your relationship. Is that even desirable?

Have Frequent Interactions And Discussions With Your Partner 

It is always better to have discussions with your spouse every now and then because it will improve understanding in your relationship.

You will get to know your partner’s preferences, likes, and dislikes.

You will grasp your partner’s thoughts without him telling you that.

Having constant interactions with your partner is a way to build a healthy relationship with him.

Also Read:: 39 Signs Of A Happy Marriage

Take Your Partner Seriously

Say during one of the instances your partner tells you that he never prefers travelling by road while you are just the opposite.

Instead if you forcefully make your partner travel by car then you are obviously committing a relationship blunder.

Now in such a case, you have to learn to give importance to your partner’s stance and preferences. That is how you could stop wielding control against your partner.

Take The Responsibility Of Guiding Your Partner Instead Of Governing Him

Being responsible in a relationship is different from being controlling in a relationship.

That is why you should always ensure to be a guiding light to your partner. 

Wherever you think he goes wrong, you have to handle him responsibly and counsel him neatly.

If you think his behaviour and actions are not right, take the lead and let him know that; of course, you have all the right to do that.

Instead if you choose to wring him with your thoughts, your relationship would head towards an unanticipated mess. Do you get my point?

Also Read:: Is It OK Being Controlling In A Relationship?

Understand What Marriage Is!

Do you know the signs of a happy marriage?

Do you know how a healthy family operates?

Understand the concept of relationship and marriage better and you will know where you are going wrong in your marriage life – Never let your attitude guide your relationship-breakdown!

Acknowledge Your Partner’s Actions And Words 

One of the common mistakes that every controlling partner makes is the way they criticise their partners and their actions.

Don’t Criticise Your Partner For His Actions And Words

Let’s say your partner replaces the broken mixer-grinder at your house without your involvement.

This affects you as your spouse has not taken your word and opinion on the subject; meaning, you start insulting your spouse for buying something really unworthy. Is that even right?

Instead shouldn’t you be receptive to his efforts? Learn to acknowledge your partner no matter what, that is how you could develop your relationship in the long run!

Give Your Partner HIS Space!

Tell me, would you like it if your partner tries to cramp your personal space and life in any way?

If your partner stops you from pursuing your career, would you be able to stand it?

Obviously, no, isn’t it?

The same applies to your partner as well; that is why you should never hamper his space and life with your unshakeable thoughts and ideas – Meaning, your controlling behaviour shouldn’t become a setback for him and his independence.

Some Affirmations To Stop Being A Control Freak In Your Relationship!

FIVE MANDATORY AFFIRMATIONS that you should practice if you are a controlling partner –

“I don’t manipulate my partner”

“My partner can make his decisions”

“I Trust My Partner”

“I Never Impose My Decisions On My Partner”

“I Respect My Partner’s View On Things”

For more such affirmations, you could visit my blog on 71 Daily Affirmations for married couples. 

Ways to stop being controlling in a relationship

Whenever you try to control your partner, remember that you are in a relationship with him. That way you will subconsciously stop bossing around him, his actions, and words. Does it make any sense?

If you have any questions to ask OR thoughts to share, please post them in the comments section below!